Its been a while since I last blogged and I am sorry but I am back and have a lot to say. Let’s start with my friends.
God knows I have never been lucky with friends, especially male friends. I last had good male friends in primary school. I last had the feeling of brotherhood then, thanks to Sandile Mahlangu who became a brother and Simphiwe Kunene. Sadly, life goes on. We had to choose different routes and then that is when it all started. My journey to friends discovery…
Have you ever been a friend to someone else’s friend? Called someone else’s best friend your own best friend? Without realising that they actually not your friends but with you because there is something they wanna achieve or gain or get from you. Nothing is so sad like that. But it gets more sad when you meet people who lie to you, call you friend and claim to love you so much but when they have to prove it, they never there. They are only friends with you on their own time and terms. That is so sad. Especially when you go through things you should be going through with them all alone and have no one. Its sad when they claim to care soo much about you but never care enough to know what is happening in your life. They can go weeks without seeing or hearing from you but when they suddenly need something or feel like they actually need you as a friend, they come back to your life like nothing happened.
Okay, enough with that. Friends should know you better than nobody else. Friends should see thev pain behind your voice when you say you okay, knowing very well you not. Friends should make sure you happy and they happy when you happy. Friends should be there for you. If not physically, emotionally and spiritually. They should make you feel loved, important, needed and special.
It sucks when they make other friends feel like that but fail to do that with you, while claiming to be your friends. That is just wrong and fucked up.With friends, thats where you should feel safe and protected, you should be free to be you without judgement. And in each and every friendship, you should happy. You should be the first priority. Remember bbaes come and go but friends remain. If you fail to do so, you will end up on your own.
I met lots of people claiming to be friends in Johannesburg. Some just disappeared and some left because they couldnt handle the pretence. But you meet that one friend who stands by you no matter what (Moipone). Friend you fight with, sometimes resent, do all the crazy stuff with but always know she cares.
Then there is that one crazy and loving friend you will grow old with (Xoli) who doesnt let distance separate you but always remind you how special and loved you are.
As for me having a best friend, I dont wanna lie, I dont have any. To me a best friend is someone who doesnt go by a day checking up on you, someone who shares everything with you, someone who can sacrifice all for you, someone who doesnt let no one get in your friendship, someone who keeps you first and only has you as a friend. Hopefully God will bless me with one.
Anywhere, thats how friends should be. And remember some friends are not just friends, some become family, and some become a part of you (all the mentioned above).
Sandile Mahlangu himself…